a funny from the Salt Lake Tribune!!!

It wasn't entirely the pumpkin's fault. For a kid, the hours between getting out of school and going trick-or-treating stretch like a congressional hearing.

So, bored and dangerous, Leon and I borrowed a jack-o'-lantern from a neighbor's porch, and a large firecracker from his old man's pickup.

We didn't know how powerful Mr. Krygowski's firecracker was, only that it was bigger than the Black Cats we normally got grounded for using.

The neighbor's pumpkin was the size of a log cabin and just as durable. We figured it would take our combined knowledge of explosives to do it any real damage.

A collection of smaller kids watched the experts from a distance. We balanced the pumpkin on a fence post and inserted the firecracker through its grin. Lighting the fuse, we backed off a few feet and waited for the lid to pop into the air.

The jack-o'-lantern disappeared in an enormous burst of light and noise.

I didn't learn about the size of the explosion until much later. At the time, I only knew that my face had somehow gotten in the way of a slab of pumpkin on its way to Japan.

Ears ringing, Leon and I sat up, covered in pumpkin juice and orange string. He had two loose teeth and my glasses were broken. The audience was gone and the fire department was on its way.

This wasn't the only time I got into trouble with a pumpkin. It took years for me to realize that they're inherently dangerous, particularly during Halloween when a certain lack of decorum is expected.

The following Halloween, I was badly injured in an argument over a jack-o'-lantern, the crux of which was a cat's objection to being placed inside it. Because the cat had attached itself to my head, flight was problematic when the owner of the house (and cat and pumpkin) opened the door to find out what was going on.

I swore off pumpkins for a couple of years. Then I discovered that rolling them down a long hill will cause traffic to drive like crazy to get out of the way - and that cops really hate that.

Dropping pumpkins from high places is also hazardous, but nowhere is it more hazardous than from the roof of your own house and onto the hood of a car belonging to someone who not only can make you pay for it, but legally flog you in the bargain.

When Halloween is over, please remember to bring your jack-o'-lanterns inside. This is for their own good. And mine. rkirby@sltrib.com



Just a funny article that made me giggle today....on a day that I could really use something to make me smile!!! Hope you like it. Reminds me of my malatov cocktail days on the ranch!!!