Living and Learning!

While up in Canada I had one of those life lessons that are not so good....one to not be so proud of! I have always lived my life in a way that I can be blessed with the guidance of the Holy Ghost at all times. I have trained meticulously to hear and follow every prompting....big or small! It is something I pray for daily...and work very hard to achieve! But...sometimes we miss those promptings none-the-less!


Our final day in Canada (Wednesday June 27, 2007)....we had planned some fun memorable things...I had made arrangements to take Mitch and Ben to the Cardston Temple to do some Baptisms for the Dead and we were all looking forward to the special feeling we would have while at the Temple. My Dad had agreed to come along and do the dunking and confirming...a capacity I had never witnessed in my growing up years as he was largely inactive most of the time I was home....so needless to say, I was a little excited to see it! I could not, however shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen! I had felt it for awhile, maybe even a couple of days...but kept brushing it aside and I am not sure why.


We completed our Temple visit and were returning to the ranch to join the rest of the family for Mongolian BBQ and I was looking forward to a relaxing night visiting and playing ping pong! We arrived home and got dinner done and were planning out the rest of the evening when the boys came and asked if they could take the 4-wheelers and go shooting gophers. My immediate response...without even thinking was NO! I was prompted to say no! And I told them no...and they were not pleased! We got dinner cleaned up and they came and asked me again....and I again was prompted "Don't let them go"...so I replied NO again. Again they were not happy. My Dad was preparing to practice team roping and would not be long so I suggested they wait for him to be finished and them He could take them shooting. Being 14, they did not like that option. So, they went behind my back and asked my dad if they could each take a 4-wheeler and go shooting. He decided they could go....but not each on a 4-wheeler, they could go together on one and each could have their own .22 rifle! So, he got them set up and turned them loose. As I looked out the doorway and saw them leaving, I had a sick feeling in my stomach and even turned to my Mom and commented on how I didn't see this as a good idea and I had a horrible feeling something bad would happen! My Dad waved off my worries and told me to let them be boys and have some fun! I felt like an over-protective mother and even felt guilty for having those bad feelings! So, I let them go!


We went and roped and after about an hour, I had another prompting to go and find the boys! So I said to my Dad, "Can we go and look for the boys?"....to which he responded..."For hell sakes, they are just fine" and we continued to practice. We ran 5 or 6 more steers then got the horses unsaddled and all the tack put up and I again said to my dad...."Can we please go and find the boys?"....it was starting to get dark and I was very worried and starting to feel a little panicky inside, realizing the continued promptings and over-all sick feeling I was having. So, he finally gave in and we jumped into the farm truck and headed to the Winder Field to look for them.


We had driven the entire field and had seen no evidence of them anywhere, so Dad headed to the coulee that is home to a very steep ravine and pretty thick brush at the bottom. We were headed North and still had no sight of them...so Dad stopped the truck and I got out to look out deeper into the ravine. For some strange reason, I turned my body and looked back South against some of the terrain we had already looked...and there I spotted the Quad. It was far enough away that all I could see was that it was sitting stopped....in a similar area where Mom and I had broke down last summer when we went to pick Service Berries. It is a pretty treacherous spot and we were not able to drive all the way to it...so we drove to the old gravel pit and parked the truck....but this time I was panicking big time and got out of the truck on a dead run and crested the hill at the top of the gravel pit where for the first time I was able to see the quad close up....and the sight still makes me stomach hurt. I could tell the quad had been rolled, flipped many times over and was sitting precariously about 1/2 down the very steep ravine. I could tell the crash had been violent and had to have been caused by too much speed and NO common sense! I was sick and screamed out loud..."NO!!!!"...to my Heavenly Father. I was praying so earnestly in my mind as I RAN down the hill.....{screaming Mitch's and Ben's names}....to get close to the crash site! I was looking for bodies and blood and was sick as to what I would find! Even my dad had some panic in his voice as he voiced his "Holy @#&*" as we topped the hill. As we hurriedly looked and found no one there...my only calming feeling was...at least they are walking! We found the guns sitting in the edge of the gravel pit, and could see by the tracks in the dirt what they had been doing. The tracks showed they had been dirt-bowling and jumping off the lip of the gravel pit. The last jump, had to have had a lot of speed and was not landed square, as evidenced by the huge gouge marks left in the ground...the crooked landing caused the quad to flip, throwing the driver, then the quad proceeded to roll and flip down the embankment! It was such a scary sight! I don't think I have even been so scared in my entire life! And I can say that very honestly!


We jumped back into the truck to backtrack through the field and try to find them walking back to the house.....eventually, having not found them anywhere, we returned to the house to find them having just arrived themselves. Turns out, Mitch had been driving and was likely showing off to his friend...and had the accident. Their story does not match the tracks....but that is okay because it is plainly evident as to what they were doing. Mitch was very beat up physically and mentally. And rightly so! He has pretty good road-rash up his back and is very very sore...but no broken bones! I feel so blessed as a mother that it was not worse. I know it very well could have been FAR worse! And there are worse things than death....we as a family are sooo very lucky and blessed!


I guess the lesson I learned was that I AM the MOM....and I have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost!!! And I am entitled to use that gift!!! I pray daily for that guidance....so why then, would I NOT have followed those promptings??? I might never forgive myself for the stupid thing I did!!! Even though the outcome could have been far worse, I don't know that I will probably never forgive myself!!! I have promised myself that I WILL NEVER ignore a prompting again!!! It was a hard lesson to learn, and reminds me that I always dependant on my Father in Heaven and that ultimately HE is the one in charge...and everything is His will! And that life is soooo fragile! I will not again take it for granted!


Anyway....here is a picture of the quad after we got it hauled back to the place! It is totalled! And the rear wheels are no-where to be found! They were propelled with such force they might never be found in the bottom of the ravine! I asked my Mom to go and take a picture of the site where he crashed...if she does I will add that picture too!!!


Lastly, I am soo glad to be a Mom, and even more humbled at the responsibility that is overwhelming at times....to get my kids raised and teach them to be the kind of people their Father in Heaven wants for them to be! Sometimes I wonder if I am doing things right!